I just read it again for the first time. If I read it before, I guess I just didn’t get it before. Maybe I really didn’t read it before. Read it and get it now. Like that he was looking for himself. Got that he was so distanced from who he was that he was his own ghost. Oh yeah, boys and girls, I get that. Liked that he just kept peeling things back. Back to the why and then that why and on and on. He cruised wherever while staying right in his own soul. He went everywhere and smelt his own shit everywhere he went.
The very reading of the book was different this time. It oozed. Went slow as heck. Like an everlasting gobstopper of a story that I digested a few pages here and a few more there. Took a long time to read it and didn’t really care. Guess that means I didn’t take a long time. Didn’t take a short time. Took the right time. Meandered as he did. Sometimes pausing to think. Sometimes not thinking at all. Touching it and not even reading it at times. Then the last few days, the pace accelerated. No destination. No goal. No deadlines. Just felt right to read and read some more and read some more.
The book is only a day behind me. Yet it feels like I had to read it now and question back then. Back when I could have done even more with the message. Back before I lived the message before I really even understood or heard the message. Made me ask myself things. About who I was back when I was that guy on the start of this whole thing. Was I that young? That naïve? That sure? I felt that and did not go to regret or what ifs. Just felt it. Saw it as sorta of a contemporary how to. A Hippie Walden. A search for self that has us face our past and accept our now. All part of the rewiring. All part of who I am now. Thoreau knew. There to be seen in a borrowed cabin where he owned his truth. Whitman knew. There in verse after verse of leaves. Rand knew. There where they wondered who John Galt was. Quinn knew. There in the cage with a really smart Primate. This book knew. There to be seen.
Made me wonder. Where have all the Flower Children gone? Did I read this book back when it and me were newer and just not get it? Did I not read it? Was it too much for me to handle? Was it too far out of my box? It was a best seller. It is a cult classic of sorts. Lots of people read it. Who got it? Who did anything about it? Interesting to see old answers there for the taking.
I am glad I read it now. Makes it a bit easier to be me today. I don’t have a motorcycle. Likely won’t. I am where I need to be and travel the roads of my soul wherever I am. Zen is cool. Soul Maintenance is the art I master a bit more every day. This book was a good tune up. Maybe I am running pretty well right now. Feels good. Vrooooom. Vroooom. Beep, beep. Pedal to the Metal. Vrooooom. Vroooom.
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