Exercising My Option

There used to be many options. Based on all the advice, there still is. Inside the box are many. Go back to work and pay for using my existing resources to honor obligations. Be taxed on that as I do. Declare bankruptcy. Say it is impossible to pay for what I did and let others inherit the burden. Borrow more money and slide deeper into debt. That is insanity and I am outside that insanity and in recovery now. Beg. Pride kept me from that street corner for a while and responsibility keeps me from it now. Barely. Suicide. As my daughter advised, that is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Inside the very system I lived as the American Dream, those options and a few lesser ones are still on the table.

Outside the box, there are even more options. Leave the country. The damage already spread globally spreads even faster now so I burnt that bridge already. Armed rebellion. That feels dark and risks destroying that light left inside what this country was and can be. Declare myself victim and hero and wail to the world. That would be the ultimate misuse of my gifts. Indentured servitude---sell my services strictly to pay taxes. Feeding a system where debt increases a million dollars a second and we owe over $80,000 per worker is irresponsible. Blame. Looked in the mirror and pushed through that denial. Went to those options and more as the situation slid further and further into impossibility.

The further I step outside the insanity, the clearer things become. I shall exercise the one option that sustains my beliefs and values. Trust. Trust that freedom begins with me. Trust that I can do the right things by honoring my obligations while living within existing resources. I shall state the facts, live by example, and be even more in the process.

There is much more I can do to increase my self reliance, understand the impact of my everyday choices, contribute to global survival, and live in joy. So I shall give and give some more and then see how to give even more. It is my choice to be thankful for what is and share to balance the world beginning in my own back yard. I owe it to those that taught me by example, to those that come after me, and to myself.