The Neighborhood Is Shrinking

Death by Cop stops a Purple Heart.

Jet falls broken on foreign soil.

Wave drowns countless dreams.

The Neighborhood is Shrinking.

Sing to me, Mister Rogers.

Yodel me yesterday, Cowboy King.

I believed in black and white.

The Neighborhood is Shrinking.

Rainbows are my family.

Candyland rotted my teeth.

My weasel pops all on its own.

The Neighborhood is Shrinking.

Sing to me, Mister Rogers.

Yodel me yesterday, Cowboy King.

I believed in black and white.

The Neighborhood is Shrinking.

Retrogrades and addictions pumping.

Less is more needs a lot more.

Our garbage has nowhere to go.

The Neighborhood is Shrinking.

Sing to me, Mister Rogers.

Yodel me yesterday, Cowboy King.

I believed in black and white.

The Neighborhood is Shrinking.

Moon Child

A life ago warrior saluted and believed in the cause.

Then pursued mighty dollars and did best at all cost.

Soon charged with business and producing new ways.

Changed penetrates much deeper once you learn to obey.

Sometimes a writer and sometimes a being of touch.

A poet, a slave, a teacher, and such and such.

Moon marked shoulder calls to the being within.

Know what is right and face your truest sins.

Ostara 6

There are answers all around you. Signs of connection to Gaia and the Cosmos. Look at the animals and things that push from the earth. They sense you and move to you. Energy is life and energy draws life to it.

Animals know for they are grounded. Their senses respond to the inner you and the inner of all. Use them and trust their inputs as to trust and love. Be forewarned though for animals are life as well and have their own energy. Just as with other species, there are the good and the bad. Learn the ways of them to understand what each means for each means different. Totems are accurate indicator of trends and help you understand what is being said, reported, and foretold.

You cannot go and look but you should look and see. It is what gathers to you that matters. The messages are in the gathering not the gathered. You cannot shape what is there but what comes to you is shaped by you.

The birds that flock to you are messengers. The plants that catch your eye call to you. The ones that come to you via others were sent there for a purpose. In all life, yours included, there is energy and connection. What is attracted in meant to attract just as magnets draw together.

Use this message in the inverse as well for what you gather to you shapes you. Those you bring to your side feed and shape your energy and change you in the process. Welcome all but invite wisely.

Birds are not the only like feathered creatures that flock together. Know this and see who is with you for there you are in manner and form and purpose. The energy of the collective is powerful and should be fed well. Your energy feeds its. Those with you are likewise.

Ostara 5

Many feel the change and they begin to connect to the Collective Consciousness. Speak of it. Look for it. The discussions will open eyes and doors. As you speak of it, you will hear answers to questions you did not even realize. That accelerates. All that was, all that is, and all that will be waits for you in the Collective Consciousness just as the Collective Consciousness waits for you.

Generations of people see it in the now and this number is the bounty. The bounty is not in material things. Material things are necessary but passing. Material things should be for safety, comfort, and enjoyment but are means to an end. The ends is the Collective Consciousness.

Your talents and your strengths are the purpose. To provide what you need so that you become linked with the Collective Consciousness now. The shift in the cosmos has been and it pierced the veils between the worlds. It was intended to be at this time and has come to pass. That floods you with opportunity and insight as more of you gather. Drawn to the change not just in each other but in everything. Look for it and it will be there before you. Speak of it and you shall hear back from Kindred. Gather and more gather with you.

As you look back, see not what was wrong but what had to happen to prepare for you. Be of the SOURCE and you shall have the answers. Answers seen even in the clutter of what was told to you to be right. Answers from the good as well as the bad of all that has been. Seek from what was and keep that which feels true to you now and discard the rest. In that reassembly is the Truth for you now and forever. The journey to Truth has been an evolution and moved with glacial speed. The split has come and you will rocket forward to the Peace of Truth and the link to eternity.

Ostara 4

Do an inventory of thanks. Walk through your home, inside and out, and see all that is there. All that is there makes the home feel as it does. Think of each thing and the memory it holds. Who held it and enjoyed it? What of the time it first came into your possession? Feel that moment for its energy is there in. The inventory of thanks strokes the energy of the object so it feeds you and all those around it for many days to come. As if dusting off the energy. Bringing it back to life.

This inventory of thanks also rewards and reminds. So much is there for you. So many sweet memories. So many special objects. Things once someone else’s but now yours. Let that energy connect you to them again. Each room will feel purer and each object more alive. You will emerge from each room happier and more understanding of your good fortune as well as what is truly important.

It is also a time of purging. Some objects do not connect to us but may with others. Share of these things so that their energy may serve more when in other hands. This is as spring cleaning was of old. A time to reflect and appreciate. Time to shake off the cobwebs of self and have a home shining with the energy of appreciation.

The energy will feed the grass and plants and animals all around you and the place you call home. It will radiate and attract. People will want to be there. Plants will smile at the sun as they bask in the light of your happiness. Animals will feel the peaceful energy of appreciation and be calmer. All will be well. The annual re-birth will make it so.

Ostara 3

In this life, we need each other. Of the flesh. To be with. To touch. To love. On other plains and in other existences, that will be much different. Your energy will merge with those like you and others to be one yet apart. You will feel the strength of self and connection there. That wonderful mix of collective and solitude will be yours each moment.

Taste that hint of that now when guided by those you know. Those that can move you above your crown for even the shortest of moments. Those who can touch you and let the inner forces stir to heal as well as comfort. Those of other plains now, before, and forever. Some are among you now. Some of you are those and have yet to taste it. Others will come to you as you better live this so that you may link with those who guide you. Those of you that guide will touch many and expand the kindred.

Embrace the need to be with others on this plain. The flesh has needs that must be met. Above the crown is forever. Below the crown in now. Now must be balanced or forever may not be reached. Laugh together. Cry together. The more comfort and joy you feel with others, the more comfort and joy you feel when alone.

The energy of the many makes us stronger. The energy of each makes the many stronger. The energy of self is not enough to sustain forever. It must link to feed and be fed. Link. It will bring you comfort and joy.

Ostara 2

Enjoy the openness. Be outside and willing to feel the dirt. That is the yearning. That is the unsettledness. The earth beckons. Gaia stretches awake and calls to you. It is time for planting. Time for sitting in the sun. Time for savoring the buds and then the leaves and the blooms. Time for watching as young ones discover the flight of butterflies and the mastery of ants.

There has been one revolution since the Equinox and already you feel the light of the season. That is as it should be. For every time there is a season. Sing of it.

Reflect back to the playful nature of this time and then make it so again. There is much strength in all of you. This time fuels it. As the unbundled clothing frees the flesh, the flesh breathes deeper and deeper. You are less removed from nature. You draw back to roots that are there all the time but now seen when you are within. Open so that the air flows and sings and energizes. It will give you answers and love.

Adult Kids

Can you picture the relationship you will have with your kids when they are adult? I guess some can. Some of those images might even match the reality. For me, if I could have, I would have been wrong. I couldn’t have and didn’t and the reality still stuns me. On so many levels.

Three kids. All different. The oldest the most like me in many ways, the middle one more like me than either of us will admit, and the youngest like a me that I am still discovering. She is doing things I probably should have a lot earlier in life. She lives a life of free spirit and freethinking that I am living now only she is doing it three decades before I got around to it. Try and wrap your head around that.

She did things that inspired me to do things. Things like learning and giving Bodywork. In her late twenties, she went first. In my late Fifties, I went second. We both ended up in different places……because we are different people. She comes at life in a way that questions things and how they should look. I do that as well. She just did it a lot younger than I did. So we look at things in ways that challenges what is said to be right……and we arrive at two different outlooks , both different than what we were taught and shown as what life should look like.

We are alike in many ways. Kindred rebels. It feels like she is a hippie…..and I am too. She comes at it with a naturalness even though she was born long after the 60s. I came to it eventually even though I lived the 60s and initially made other choices. I guess that makes me a Later Day Hippie……and her…..well, cool. We both question the “system”. We embrace the global community and work on being good members of the eco-system. We are considered a bit weird and embrace what we are with little regard to labels, judgments, or expectations. She is me as I should have been as I become me as I should be. That is as cool as it is freaky.

My parents wanted me to ellipse them. To have more than they did. To amass more stuff and be better off than they were. It was part of the American Dream……that our children with be better off than we were. Each generation an improvement. I kinda hit that mark and kinda missed it by a country mile. My life is much different than I expected and my parents were more inspirational to the man I became then either of them ever knew. They would like the peace and purpose I feel everyday….I am one with the world. They showed me the way. I have it easier than they did and honor them because they were very good people who deserved to have it easier than they did.

When I look at my youngest, she is on the way to be more than me in how she approaches life and touches the world. She will ellipse me……even as I move towards being more of whatever it is I am. She is on track to something important…and right….and all hers. I could not picture our relationship now back when she was that kid and I was that young Dad. It turned out better than anything I could imagine. I hope to be like her when I grow up.

Happy Birthday, Susie. Love, Dad

Ostara 1

The time of joy is here. Feel the energy of re-birth in you, around you, and of you. The sleeping is over and all wake up refreshed. Feel the rain as nurturing and sweetly refreshing. Take in the light to better see in the darkness. Breathe deeply for new air comes with the saplings and buds. It is a time a life. A time of joy. A time of dancing.

All things are better now and will continue to be. Community is stronger and bigger. The SOURCE sees and smiles and laughs and loves. The beasts embrace their yoke and work eagerly from sun-up to sun-down. There is singing in hearts and minds and souls. The slumber inside and our moves away with a stretch of the meta-physical and the last yawn of sleep.

Surround yourself with purity and light. Wash off the dust of doubt. Purge the sludge of the unknown. See the answers and share them. This is a wondrous time and healing is underway. There is healing energy in all of you. Share it. Turn it on yourself first. It makes you stronger as well as better.

Feel the kiss of beginnings long awaited. There is sanctuary at hand and you are it. Together. Believe in yourself and those like you. Act. Love. Trust.

Ostara

We made it!

Ostara is celebration. We made it through the dark and the cold. It is the joyous reconnection to the belief that all things survive. We feel life in Ostara.

This feeling of resurrection and re-birth crosses time and space. Ostara is rooted in a time when winters killed. The cold battered, land was barren, game was hidden, food stores close to depletion, and hope felt distant. In winter, nature pruned. Many things died as we huddled in the cold and prayed to survive. In that darkness, death was all around and we wondered if it was our time. We wondered if we were strong enough to make it. Winter touched our connection with life as many things moved beyond this realm. Light returned in even the smallest dose and we welcomed it. We emerged from hiding and hibernation. Our ancestors greeted the barest hint of thaw with dance and fire and joy. They saw the animals move forth again and mate to begin another circle around the sun. Food would soon grow on tree and bush and more. Soon, there would be much to gather and share again.

If the Wheel of Life has a starting point, it is Ostara. We looked to the heavens and felt safe again…selected to live another cycle. It was time to gather. Some prepared for planting. They honed the plows and assembled together in a joyous pre-game show for the work ahead. Just as the very survival we celebrated was linked to the last harvest and gathering, our continued existence was again linked to the abundance that would soon return and be ours to share as tribe. Ostara is fertility and beginning and more.

Eggs showed in nests and burrows. Bulbs birthed buds of beauty. Bodies felt warm and encouraged touch. Eggs became magical on the Equinox, March 21, when they stood on end on that one special day. A balancing act that defied the known and called us to feel forces much greater than our earthly vessels. The Gods and Goddess made eggs dance as the light returned.

Soon, some named their Gods and Goddesses. One of the first so named is Eostre, the German Goddess of Spring, for whom Ostara is named. Eostre is linked to the East, where the Sun rose and shined brighter and earlier as spring warmed the ground. Eostre also links fittingly to Shining and Glorious. The celebrations were rich and pure with dancing, mating, and joy. Ostara is nature’s call to multiply. Rabbits and their impressive fertility symbolized the sheet magick of reproduction and life.

Passover is honored in this time. Life and survival emphasized again. Easter is marked in this time and the story of life over death literally. The theme is common…life celebrated. Ostara reminds us that light and joy return and are to be shared by all.

Imbolc 19

The Circle closes again and the changes are what is right. On the cusp of Ostara, look forward but savor what was and carry forth with you what will benefit. Leave behind the darkness and woe for that burden delays and stalls the carriers. Armor yourself in the hope and joy of Trust of the Source.

What you are now is very different from what entered Ostara even one circle ago. As that being was different from the circle prior and the one prior to that as far back as circles go. In that same manner, you will different one circle hence for that is growth and that is right. Honor what was but be what is and become what will be. Fill the circle with answers and light. The light of self as well as the light of herd and Tribe.

Bridge. Lead. Explore. Dance. Sing. Love. Trust. Comfort. Study. Share. Actions after actions after actions. Just be you and you will be with those that accept, love, and protect you.

Imbolc 18

The full moon illuminates your dreamscapes clearly for the veils are thinnest then since the dimensions are bridged and merged at those fine moments. The beings of light feed images to the dreamscape that are messages for your path and journey. See not what is there but what each means.

See the Hospital but know the place of healing for answers are there. Hear the cheers of the throng at the spectator sport that distracts them while you journey forth in trust. Realize that solutions do come from teams of old in ways that are uncommon but much needed. Feel your own tears and the tears of the one who held you there and know that both outpourings are needed to merge to clean the air. Accept the longer hair as the symbol of time to grow for the wearer. Notice the privacy failures and know it is not about privacy but communication. Help the woman in heels off the mountainous and challenging path while noticing how her footwear and preparation were so ill suited for the arduous journey. Make note of the amok and anger things that had you move hither and yon versus straight ahead. Explore why basic functions were exposed there and the process and way of cleaning were so different and seemingly ineffective. Accept the twists, turns, delays, confusions, frustrations, and distractions there in that dreamscape of connection are far more than symbolic for the journey underway and the days ahead.

All this and more are there for you are to look forth to the beings of light more and more. The dreamscape is not somewhere else. It is part of what is next shown to you in ways you can process and handle now. Move to the beings of light there and those here as well and journey forth for Ostara comes soon.

Imbolc 17

The tide of change swells even more as resources and shifts flood Tribe and herd. Ride the waves together and use all the gifts of the Source that are and always have been yours. The enormity of the changes confuse when the changes are far off but the clarity comes quickly for the size is epic and the movement just seems slow. Look closely as you move forward to process what comes. It is as beautiful and impressive as it is big.

Imbolc 16

Trust is the key to the answer. All answers. Trust pierces the questions so that acceptance tempers impatience. Trust provides lift above the fray of manipulation and frustration. Trust comforts even as specifics remain shielded. As shifts and change move to ever present, overwhelming at times, Trust soothes so that labors are pure and rewards follow.

Temptation will call loudly in these times but Trust muffles the sirens. Dash not on the jagged rocks of resentment and loneliness. Trust in Source as well as Tribe and herd. The journey will be safe even in the roughest of seas.

Imbolc 15

Invest fully and feel the rewards many-fold. What is withheld does not protect but limits. Hear the advice and ask for input but the choice of investment must be just that…….choice. Yours. To give totally, there must be a belief deeper than many are willing to face.

Face the toughest questions inside. Know as much about Self by understanding what is denied. Only by facing these demons, many of which are well disguised, can the truth of belief be clarified and purpose be clearer.

As the calendar of the moon shifts, look at the answers therein. Embrace inside and then open to embrace in the taking and the giving. Being about self is not selfish. It is essential to be as meant to be in Tribe and herd.

Had Enough?

Had enough tragedy? I have. More than enough. Here are some facts, boys and girls. If that had been a solar array rather than a nuclear plant, it would have been inconvenient. If those were windmills, the recovery would be way cleaner. WAY CLEANER. We are about to out-trump nature again in dealing out catastrophe. We are about to make bad worse…….again. Yet…..how long will we care about what people are living with as a consequence? How many have to die this time to have us say no to nuclear and oil with all its tentacles and mean it? How long will we care? Will we actually do anything to change? Will this be the enough is enough one?

Remember the Gulf of Texaco? Ohhhhhh, the tragedy. Ohhhhhhh, the greed. Ohhhhhhhh, the voices of righteous indignation as warnings were suppressed by the bottom line. Oh, look. Charlie Sheen is having a meltdown. Have you seen the new IPad? We are mastered by a slight of hand that distracts from reality right until reality crashes through the haze and reminds us the world is in danger. I am embarrassed at how much we say and how little we actually do. That is how little we do that actually matters. Chernobyl. Three Mile Island. Exxon Valdez. BP. The hits just keep on coming. War for Oil? Mining disasters? Backing despots to keep the oil flowing? Sure……good for the economy though…..lots of jobs and money to spend. Gotta make it to work. Right?

We need changes. Now. Changes that will transform our man-made tragedies into inconveniences rather than repetitions of helplessness and greed. Solar and Wind energy solutions. Public transportation over private consumption. Local markets rather than mass distribution centers. Saving versus borrowing. Repairing rather than replacing.

We, the People of the Planet, must lead. In example of how we treat ourselves and our neighbors. In example of how we live and honor all life. In example of how we fit into the ecosystem. We are the answer and must be the example. Now.

We need natural energy sources more and less energy consumption by each of us to balance supply and demand. We need more transportation that brings us together in the act of travel and less transportation that separates us from our neighbors, neighborhood, and world. We must experience life in our homes and share it with the world. We must live locally and feel globally.

The changes must touch all aspects of life. Each purchase, each meal, each outing, each celebration, each choice. Schools. Parks. All aspects of Community. A Global Citizenship linked across the planet. Everyday.

Tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanoes, hurricanes, tornados are forces of nature. Energy choices that put people at risk are within our control. We can change them now. Right now. Even while the scope of what happens in Japan is revealed. We owe them that. We owe their children and our children that. We owe seven generations from seven generations from now that. We must change. We must learn. We must act.

Addictions

Everyone’s addicted to something. The ones in the programs have it easier. They’ve named their demon. Hope they got it right. Did the gamblers in that anon bet on the right addiction? Did the Alcoholics really cork their demon in the bottle they left on the bar? Did the crack heads crack the right code? Did they pick the right “…I am a” fill in the blank? I’m cheering for them. Go, team, go! Rah, Rah, and shish ka bob. They’re heroes. Every one of them that stepped up the mirror and said I got issues and I can’t fix them by myself. Heroes. All of them. I hope they got it right, get right, and stay right.

The ones in the programs are working on getting better. Quite frankly, that is enough. Working on getting better means not getting any worse and sometimes that’s a damn victory. The twelve steps are fucking mountains. Each one of them. I speak from experience. It’s a long climb up from the highs. You gotta know how low you really are just to get started. Mountains. Twelve of them, each an Everest without any rest. This shit ain’t for the faint of heart. It keeps you outta trouble though. When you are busy climbing mountains and facing demons, there ain’t a hell of a lot of time left to screw up other people’s stuff. The folks in the programs are fixing what they broke and doing the best they can. One day at a time.

Then there are the addicts that know they addicts but are too busy being addicts to do any healing. You know them. Various degrees of denial, stupidity, arrogance, and whatever the hell else you call bad choices about shit that will kill ya if you don’t quit. These are the boozers, shooters, and tweakers. So far gone they think they are going make it somehow when their world shrinks to nothing but moments between highs. They limbo in their own hell finding out new ways to answer the question how low can you go. Those folks are not in denial. They’re in fucking pain. They’re in the trap and they are pretty much useless to themselves and harmless to the rest of us. Sure, they lie, cheat, and steal to feed their habit. That’s life with you’re in that death trap. I’m cheering for them though. Hoping they wake up before the big dirt nap closes the lid on their pain. If not, they are pretty much screwed just like the folks that don’t even accept they are addicts.

That’s everybody else. The folks in the programs know and do. The addicts in the addictions know and do, too. They just know it’s wrong and they do it anyway. Everybody else doesn’t even know they are addicts. I hope they wake up before we all end up in their nightmare. The boozers, shooters, and tweakers are nothing compared to what the other folks can do. The ones that don’t even know they are addicted. Most of them have approved addictions. Addictions that are encouraged and advertised and rewarded. Those fuckers could kill us all.

Drunk with power. High on having stuff. All dockered up and beeming around suburbia like their shit doesn’t stink. They can afford it. Sometimes they can but they have good credit. Need it now. Gotta be better than the Jones and the Jonesing. My title is bigger that your title and my windows have a better view than yours. I am not sure what makes me happy but I am better than you and that’s makes me happy. Kinda. See you at the mall.

Step on up. Use your brother’s back if needed. He should have moved faster. Speed kills. Kills the slow fuckers that can’t keep up. It’s the latest. It’s the greatest. That is sooooo yesterday. Get with it. Gotta have it. Gonna have it. Haven’t been there. Let’s go there. Everyone is. Shit. How’d we miss that boat? Cruising along with the latest line and the coolest gadget. Don’t act surprised. I think they saw me in that. Need something new. Something subtle that gets their attention. What will they say? Hope it is good. Who cares what they say? They don’t know anyway. Only they matter. Not them. Can’t we move closer? Why not? You can figure it out. Everyone has two mortgages, four cars, and credit cards to the max. It’s life. Let’s live it up!

They make the tough choices. Tough in how much harder it gets to fool themselves as they go along. They begin to wonder. They go inside and ask the hard questions. The ones they ask at night under the moon. The ones the addicts asked in the bottle or when riding the rush. They ask themselves because the family will not know. The church will not know. No body will fucking know. They ask through tears, in fears, and without cheer.

Did I run away from the right things? Did I choose the right things? Did I really need all this stuff? Did it really make me happy or did it just help me pretend I was not sad? Did I really get answers or did I merely stop asking questions? Did I? Did I? What did I did?

Then they face the two words they hate. The two words they planned around, avoided, denied, and just hoped would go away. What if?

What if? Sometimes it begins sooner but too often it begins later. Later than they wished, sooner than they wanted. It begins when their kids have kids and they are just like they was when they had kids and their parents had that look on their face. The look of “you don’t have any idea of what to do so do what you are told.” Then there are the losers. The ones that made the other choices. The wrong choices. The ones that did what they hell they wanted. The examples of what not to be become the Sears Wish Book of would if I coulds.

Would if I could but there are the kids now. Would if I could but the company really needs me. Would if I could but no one in the family would understand. Would if I could but my church says that is wrong. Would if I could but I can’t. Wish I could. I just can’t. I just can’t. Really. I just can’t.

Say it a lot. I just can’t. Say until you believe it. I just can’t. Say it and maybe it will be true. I just can’t. Should not even be thinking about it. I just can’t. Doesn’t feel right to like it. I just can’t. Please help me forget how much it excites me. I just can’t. Binge. I just can’t. Purge. I just can’t. Deny. I just can’t. Bless me, father, for I have sinned. I just can’t. Dammit. Why can’t I? I just can’t.

The sigh is the sign. The sign of surrender. The sigh of giving up. The sigh of accepting that what you really want to do is wrong. The sigh of just giving up. It feels good. The family will be better off. The church will be better off. It means more time for the job and that means more money and that means more stuff and that means more fun and that means more vacation time and that means I am happy. So sigh a little. Close the lids choices and fucking die. Get it over with.

Choice

It’s your choice. It always has been. Hide where you are told to hide. Be what you are told to be. It is your choice. Good boy. Sundays here. Take this train. Read this paper. Vote this way. Good people don’t do that. Good people don’t have those. Good people don’t and don’t and don’t until they don’t even know they 're don’ting. Choose. Be good like you have been told. Be good for you? Your own version of good? Your own version of joy? That is selfish. You are better than that. You are good. Wake up. The alarm went off and you slept through it. The world is on fire. Let’s buy a new couch. How about a big screen TV? There is a sale. We can figure out how to pay for it later. We have to buy it now. Think about the savings. Re-decorate. Re-finance. Re-energize. We can’t afford not to save this much money! The Want Ads are full of ways to pay. I will move from the bad news to the sales news to the death news and be there before I finish this cup of coffee. Can read the rest on the train. The train is good. Lots of the same folks every day. Every day folks. I am one of them. I am somebody on that train. I am the guy that finishes the paper while he drinks his coffee and looks all serious and stuff. Plus, I wear a hat. I pull it down over my eyes a bit and enjoy my coffee. The girl at the coffee thing at the station knows just how I like it. I usually get a cup before I take the train. I make a point of it. She knows how I like my coffee. She has nice tits and a pretty smile. She likes me. So I tip her. The more she likes me, the more I tip her. She likes me a little more each day. She even flirts with me. One time, there was only her and me. It was like a date. Sweet. Arousing. Sinful. I wanted to miss the train and take her to a hotel and be with her and love her and fuck her and hold her and cry and be somewhere with someone that just wanted to be with me and nowhere else in the world. I think she wanted it too. Wished she had asked me. Then the train came and I had to get to work. Had to go to that meeting and do that important briefing. I am somebody there, too. Just a different somebody. Not the somebody who loves the gal at the coffee wagon. Somebody else. Somebody that does not do those kinda things. Somebody good. She is not there in the evenings. She gets off at 11, picks her kid from school, and then heads home. She lives on the other side of town. Rents a place but keeps it nice. The coffee place closes after lunch or something. How would I know? It just ain’t open late. Not much demand for coffee by the time I get back to the empty station, get into the empty car in the almost empty parking lot, and take the pretty much empty back roads home. Sometimes I have to stop at the store. Don’t like that but I do it. Sometimes I have to put out the garbage cans. Don’t like that but I do it. Sometimes I get home and have to go back out to some dinner or Church thing or family thing or some fucking other thing. Don’t like that but I do it. I am somebody good. Gotta do what a guy’s gotta do. Sometimes I have to stay in town and work late. More than sometimes but not as much as I do. Sometimes the office is empty and but not as empty as that train station, that car, the parking lot, or those roads. Sometimes I get the stuff done I stayed to do. Sometimes I do other things. Read things. Go on the computer and look at things. Think about stuff. Lots of stuff. Sometimes it is good to be alone. Sometimes it is sad to be alone. I don’t care. Sad alone is easier that sad with company. Sad alone is quiet. Sad with company is noisy. I like quiet. Sometimes. Lives of quiet desperation? Fuck quiet. There are millions of me’s out there. Millions doing the right things and saying the right things and pleasing everyone and everything while we die each damn day, inch by inch and second by second. I shall not go quietly into that not so good night. I wanna live! Let’s put on some shoulder pads and fight over a damn pigskin. That will help. Keep your goddamn penalties, put them in a box, and slap shoot them into your mother-in-law’s face. Let’s get some really, really big guns and blow the living shit outta something. I got bills to pay and somebody has to pay like I pay cause I pay big. The bigger the bomb, the better. We need really, really big bombs. We must help those that suffer and crush those that make them suffer. We must police the world. Let’s jam the American dream right down their throats. Ready or not, here we fucking come! Ack-ack. Attack. Tora fucking Tora. Alle-alle-in-free. You’re it. You’re in my fucking way. You’re different. You’re doing shit I wish I could do and I can’t do it so you can’t do it either. Fuck you. I hate you. Tell me more about yourself, please. Don’t let anyone know I asked. Just between you and me. I need to know. Make it quick, please. I have a train to catch. I was supposed to be home a long time ago. Can we talk tomorrow, please? I will have to work late so we can talk for hours. Maybe we can meet for coffee? I like coffee. I’ll pay.

Imbolc 14

The seeds of change are planted and taking root. The planting continues but already the focus shifts to tending the newly rooted and soon to be rooted crop. Tend well for the seeds are of all of Tribe and herd. Tend well for those of the Source are of the change.

The crop will product exactly what is needed for Tribe and herd and any of Tribe and herd. Let each be as is meant to be just as You and Yours become what is intended and right. Move in trust and anticipate with joy the crop that comes.

The Z Report (Happy 8th Birthday, Zerek, Love, Pop-Pop)

Sometimes I wonder how Z-Man is doing. He is active and runs in his own circle of friends and life. Life keeps him quite busy and our paths cross less than daily so I am prone to wonder. Hoping he is alright. Want to make sure one of my favorite people is healthy and happy.

Each time I see him, he seems to be. In fact, he seems to be doing even better each time. He grows up quickly in very important and cool ways. This bundle of energy is more focused. I want to say calmer but that is not it. He is still a bundle of energy. Has been since, well, forever. Now his energy is different. Just as present…..just not as frenzied. He is under self-control and that makes his energy more impressive to see.

He is happier too. More prone to share and laugh and play. Used to shift his moods pretty quickly and now he is happier much longer and that is just nice…for him and for all that know and love him. He smiles more and more and that is a great trend when it comes to moods and living.

Still I wonder. Hoping that life challenges and the world at large works in his favor. So I look for the evidence. Evidence that he is doing well.

I find it in her eyes. She is younger than he is. Six years younger, plus or minus a few days or months. She is Z-Man’s kid sister. Z-Man is four times as old as she is. He is more than an older brother to her. He is Z-Man.

She lets me see how he is doing when I look in her eyes when she looks at him. She looks at him a lot. When they play, and they play a lot, bliss shines from her eyes. Everything is right with the world because Z-Man and her are all that matters at those moments. Her eyes light up when Z-Man talks to her about his day, dinner, Pippin, or his latest adventure. She loves Z-Man.

She shows me how he is doing. They have each other and the world is full of love and trust. The downs pass quickly and the ups last a long time. She lets me know how he is doing because she shows how much she loves him. Love that he gives her with his attention and time. Seems easy in a way. Give your attention and time and you give love. Z-Man gives his sister his attention and time. He shows that she matters to him. He makes her feel important and loved and she loves him all the more each time. So I look at her eyes to see how he is doing.

Z-Man is doing alright. In fact, he is doing really well.

Happy 8^th Birthday, Zerek.

Love, Pop-Pop

Imbolc 13

Change will be as the weather. There always. The weather is part of the landscape. It is affected by your location and choice of place to be. It is beyond your control and must be factored in all you do. Shelter from it at its fiercest. Brave it when needed to accomplish essentials.

Curse not the rain but see the vegetation that follows. Rage not at the cold but huddle to the fire and anticipate the warm of the more summer of days. Hate not the storm that kept you from where you were going but look to see the place you are for the storm was for a reason and you are where you are for a purpose.

Imbolc 12

Fasting and sacrifice should be routine as Imbolc moves forward. The seasons shift and flow. The flesh and spirit need reminders of sweetness and taste and abstinence can foster that. Learn not to take anything for granted by willingly and eagerly offering your treats. Use this time to also curb weakness for habits are broken with routine as sure as they are made with them.

Empath at Eight (Happy Birthday, Ethan Wood---Love, Pop-Pop)

Eight year old boys are eight year old boys and this kid I know is very much an eight year old boy. Likes video games, rough house, fart jokes, Legos, Batman, and tons of things germane to the wonders of a eight year old world. This one kid is a bit different though. He is an Empath.

Empaths have a gift. The gift of feeling others’ feelings. Some might think it a curse. I did and resisted that very gift inside myself for decades. Called in the gifted ones to understand what people really felt and appreciated how important it is to know. Just wanted it to be someone else’s gift. Anyone else’ gift.

I know one that lives his gift at an early age. Showed it early and often. Feels what others’ feel and moves on what he feels. Watched as he moved to comfort a friend who was in a time out during Karate class. Not even his Karate class. Just a kid he knew in passing from another class. I watched as the Empath went over and sat near his friend. He wasn’t asked….he just felt. Just knew. The Empath knew the kid needed company. Needed to know time out was just time out. The Empath went and sat without a word. Just comforted.

Then the day of great wisdom arrived. The Empath held his brother….held the baby that was meant to be. I saw the wise Elder. The one that knew exactly how important that moment was. When asked if he was ready to leave, the Empath said, in a soft voice that explained all he needed in one word, “No.”. So we stayed a while longer.

It was magic. It was a then seven year old holding his brother, comforting his mother and father, and inspiring his Pop-Pop. He was quiet, reverent, loving, healing, and fully present. The most present one in the room……well, except for his brother. It was then I knew how very special the Empath really was. He felt things….and understood what he felt…….and knew exactly what to do.

Eyes that shined with only slightly withheld tears. Tears of unconditional love and amazing strength. He was fully present. Above the shock and trauma of the moment that gripped most there. Barely eight…..and he was the Elder. I watched and learned from him that day. Saw the man he already is and the greatness that is his for all the days ahead.

Ethan Wood turns eight today. He is a good kid with kid likes and kid adventures. He is more though……..he is an Empath. That makes his eighth birthday even more special. Enjoy the moment, Ethan. I love you and I am deeply honored to know there are beings like you on this planet.

Happy Birthday, Ethan Wood.

I love you, Pop-Pop

Write-In

My vote counts. That is why I am writing-in my vote in the next presidential election. It is my decision. It is only one vote but it is my vote. My voice to the Washington that listens to others long before they hear what I have to say. I will write-in my vote as a statement that it was my decision about the individual that represents me as President. My vote is my voice……and my voice will be heard and known long before one vote on one day in one election. My vote is merely part of my voice. You are hearing it now. Suggest you remember it because it is here everyday inside of me. Now…..about my vote.

It might be a Democrat. It might be a Republican. It might be something else. Might be a man. Might be a woman. It will be a person that will go to Washington to lead. To set the example for those in Washington and everyone that looks to Washington as representative of this country to the world. They will be the best choice I can make based on the information I gather and evaluate.

I live beyond party. I live beyond interest group. I live beyond pay-offs and payola. I will not be brought and sold with a sound-bite, a glad hand, and any damn poll. My vote is not based on fear or greed. It is based on hope and civic responsibility. I paid my dues and will be heard. One vote. One voice. A voice that says what I do is good enough for me and it is good enough for the world. I look to Washington to follow my example. They will know I am here and that I can and will survive them at their weakest but hope they are at the best someday again soon. My vote matters…..to me. That is why I will base it on what is best for me and the world I touch everyday.

Almost started a group. League of American Voters. Something. We don’t need another stinking group. We need a lot of ones. One vote people. One voice people. Their own voice. We are nation of ones. One people. People that decide. People that lead. People that know they do matter and are willing to let Washington hear us. Write-in. Righting. Right-on. Left wing, right wing, anything but broken wings and broken promises. We promise to do our best and vote like it matters because it does. I can write-in my vote, write them off, and write them out anytime because……my voice is loud and clear to me and will be loud and clear to them forever.

My next President is a write-in. I will put you on the ballot…even if someone else put you there first. My vote will be a write-in because I am more than a follower….more than a flip of a switch. That is my message, Washington. So…..show me what ya got, boys and girls. You better start doing better than you are and have been.

I am writing-in my vote in 2012 and will know who I will vote for when I walk into the booth. Between now and then, I will watch what Washington does and vote based on performance rather than promise. I am an independent voter and the political parties lost my respect. They will hear my voice though……in the voting booth….or sooner if need be. My vote still matters……..my voice is much louder than one vote though and that is what they will know forevermore. Election day is just one day when I matter….I matter everyday and that is my message to anyone anywhere.

Lent

Lent. May have to borrow some of it. From that place I knew as a child. A Catholic kid back when the flag and the cross meant good things and made me proud.

Lent. It was always my favorite season. It was Holy in ways bigger than I understood then and even more important now. The sweet feel of self discipline…a wonderful brick in the foundation of growth. Rituals. Ceremonies. Hiding things in plain sight so we appreciate them when we let ourselves see what is already there. Kneeling. Crawling. Stations of the Cross. Incense. Somber and pious people focused on making it through to the Resurrection. Metaphoric. Meteoric. Heroic. Such wonderful times. Each day a day of more holiness and increasing insights. It was more than giving up candy and cake. It was doing with less. It was celebrating doing without so that we understood what we had and could do without just because we were stronger than habit, custom, and comfort. Suffering is important…..doing is important. A choice of embracing our mettle. Suffering for the noble cause of honing ourselves. Proving something to ourselves that we need to know. Remembering how strong we are. Lent was our time to prove to ourselves that we would and that we could.

Lent. Proving we could change. Proving we would change. Actually doing it, even for a finite period. Enough time to know we had an out……salvation awaiting. We eased into Lent and had the end in sight when we struggled. We had the end of the trials and tribulations right there to ensure we stayed with it. Lent was like that. It gave us reason to change. To improve. To sacrifice. To endure. To show we were more than creature comforts and bad habits that we knew we were better off without anyway.

Lent. Lent was the time we remind ourselves not to be lazy. Lazy in what we thought about and did each day. We brought our spiritual connection from that once a week thing to an everyday thing. The offering of self brought us together as a community of doers. A community of people willing to break their routine to be better about choices that we made and lived each day.

Lent. We can use a little Lent right about now. We can use a lot of Lent right about now. We need to remember that we can and should and then actually do things. We need to remind ourselves that our spirituality is an every day thing and that we can change in important ways……inside. Forever.

Lent….it is for all of us. Happy Ash Wednesday, Citizens.