Tired

Some days, I get tired. Just leave me alone, don’t you dare leave me alone tired. Don’t like that place but sure do know it. It is a selfish, self-pitying place. I feel everyone else and tire of it. Just want to be while already knowing that just being merely feeds it. Want to sleep but that is hiding from it. That is being in it and letting it wash over me in the unrest of not feeling. Life is about feeling. Even when it makes you tired. Especially when it makes you tired. To feel is to live and we get tired of living sometimes. We get tired of how hard it is. We want things to settle down. We want them to ease up. We want to scream “Take a damn break”, “Shut the fuck up”, and “Leave me alone” at the top of our lungs to anyone’s face. Sometimes we do. At our weakest, we scream it at others. At our strongest, we scream it at ourselves. Real loud. Real long. Real clear.

Some days, I get tired. Days like today. That is when life really gets interesting. That is the birthplace of change and proof that we are pregnant with life. Life is inside of me and it is kicking up a storm. Have to smile because punching myself in the stomach is just plain stupid. I might be tired. I ain’t stupid. I also ain’t weak…..or else I would be much more tired.