Please. Please, don’t leave me. I can’t exist without you. I am worthless without you. I think I had a life before you but that does not matter. With you, I soar. You open doors I cannot open by myself. The people in my life are here because of you. Thanks to you, I am better for them. Can do more for them. I am happier and healthier and more me with you. Please. I need you so very much.
Think of all the joy. I shared and gave and danced and sang and it was all because of you. I did all I could. Did everything you said and needed. Just like I promised and just like I knew would keep you in my life. It was all about you. I know that now. Please. If you leave, I am nothing. There is no place to go and nothing to do if I do not have you. Please. Without you, I will die. I will literally die.
I did not see this coming. I never thought you would leave. I thought you would be here forever and ever and ever. When you first came to me, it was Magick. I did not understand you but I like what you did for me. Soon, I loved you. I loved you so much and went where you were to be around you and know you more and more. I loved you and we were so good together. People knew I was there and you were with me and that they would be better because you were with me. Now, you and I are inseparable. I do not know where I end and you begin. I am as much you as I am me.
Please. Stay. I will change. I will be even better. Do you need me to cook? To clean ditches? To kneel? To open and whore myself to others for you? Do you need me to beg? I will do that. I need you that much. Please. Just don’t leave me alone. I am nothing without you and I will die. Please!
She handed the letter to the young girl and then watched as she read it. It was time for her to understand. It was time for her to have the questions she asked answered. She was old enough to understand and she deserved to know the truth.
The child looked up at her and asked, “Is this really true, Mommy?”
The Mother merely shook her head to show that it was.
“You didn’t just make this up, did you, Mommy?”
“No, child. It is true. Sometimes I wish it was not but it is very, very true.”
The child summed it up well. “Wow”
There was silence for a while and then the child spoke again.
“People really loved money this much, Mommy?”
“Yes, My child. They did. Back before the fall.”
The child then asked the question of all questions.
“Why, Mommy?”
The Mother was silent. She had expected the question and had a bit of an answer. An answer she did not like and that was short of the mark somehow. She was about to answer when the child asked a question that helped the Mother understand a piece of the puzzle that eluded her for a long time.
“Wasn’t it just a resource? Like other resources, Mommy?’
The Mother had that AHA she needed and wished for that simplified things. She spoke from a place she remembered and honored. “No, child. For some, it was the one ring to rule them all.”
The child understood and accepted. The child then asked another question. The question of the Feminine and the Nurturers.
“How did they survive, Mommy?”
The Mother kissed her sweet child’s head and answered. “Some of them didn’t. Enough of us did though.”
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