Unknowing

I am deeper into my unknowing. On strike against what I was. Monkeys don’t need metaphors. As a primate of some order in what used to the chaos of my own creation, metaphors smell a bit different. Perhaps it’s all the bullshit I used to buy and eat and work to have more of. It oozes from my pores and stinks up my metaphors. The world reeks of it right now. My world. This brave new world where I am a stranger in a strange land just off the map of all I knew. New smells. The decay of the old stinks and the decomposition is fertile. Something blossoms as the flash bulbs flash forward through what I pictured as truth. Flowers smell better once we stop flinging bullshit in our own backyard. I am on strike against my own bullshit.

The strike is really easy. Question everything. Slow as all get out but it works for me. Question everything. Everything I did, knew, learned, and lived. Question everything that ever was. Question everything I do. Each turn of the key each time I even sit behind the wheel of the last of my herd of noble chariot beasts. Must I drive? What’s the cost? Where did all this come from? Why not walk? Why not just not go? Why today? What’s it all about, Alfie? Was Alfie really Mad? Did Alfie really look like that freaky guy on the wall of the Palace in Asbury Park all those years ago? Do I need to drive. What drives me to drive? What drove me to drink? What feeds my soul? What pops my cork? What drives me to even think I am in the driver’s seat or even have to be? Maybe writing about Alfie is more important than whatever I am about to do when I turn this key. Maybe? Why not? Why not now? If not now, when? Now. Now, now. There, There. There will wait. I am here now. Hear, hear. Hear me roar. What’s it all about, Alfie? I don’t know. I am unknowing and that is what it is all about.

Back away from the key slowly. Keep your hands where I can see them. Place them on the keyboard nice and slow. That’s it. Now talk. Talk. Don’t make me shine the light in your face. That is so 40s. So Avant guard. So new wave. So yesterday. Yesterday. Remember yesterday? Where were you between the time you first went to work and yesterday? Where were you? We have witnesses. Stand here and answer the following questions. We know who you are. We know what you did. What were you thinking?

What was I thinking? In the unknowing, I begin to understand what I did, what I was thinking, and what I am going to do about it. Right now, I am not going to do anything about it. I am just going to let it come. It will come when it is due. It will come when it is past due. Past due might be just right. Right on time. A stitch in time saves nine. A stitch ahead of time might be just the right thing. Just the right recipe. Just what the Doctor ordered. What’s up, Doc? Take two of your own pills and don’t call me in the morning. One pill makes you want them. Two pills makes you dumb. The one that Alice gives you, ain’t on the menu at all. So ask Alice if you wonder. Don’t ask me. I don’t know. This ain’t on schedule. It comes when it is time. It will be here when it is time. If I have to do time, I will do time. Time in on my side. Yes, it is. Time waits for no man. I wait for no man. I am on strike. Don’t wait for me. Don’t try to keep up. Don’t ask me. I don’t know. I just unknow right now and I unknow a lot more every day. That is the key to unknowing.

So I don’t turn that key, keep my finger off the button, and get ready to strike. To strike it rich because of my unknowing. Rich beyond anything that money can buy. Money can’t buy happiness. Want to know why? Cause happiness is free. Free as a bird. Naked and free and yours for the taking. Actually, it is yours for the having and for the giving. Money can’t buy happiness cause happiness can’t be sold. So I ain’t buying that bullshit any more. I am on strike. That much I know.