Yellow Sticky Note

“A man is sitting on a bed on which a dead woman lies.” Just one line. On a yellow sticky note. He wrote the note. He put the note on his desk. He let it sit there. He did not understand what it meant. He did not understand what drove the words and why they sat there. A message? A code? A quirk? So they sat there. The man. The note. The clue right alongside of the cluelessness. He saw it. Ignored it. Pretended it wasn’t there. Pretended it wasn’t anything. Pretended it wasn’t important. Pretended it would pass.

It stayed. He went about life and the note waited. Until he saw it. Really saw it. Then one day he knew. The man sitting on the bed was Rusty Sabich. It was Rusty in the note. Who was the woman? Where was the man just sitting there? Where had Rusty been in the twenty plus years since he was acquitted? It was Rusty and that took the sentence on the yellow sticky and turned it into a book.

The man with the yellow sticky note on his desk was Scott Turow. Rusty is the character in his first published, best selling book, “Presumed Innocent”. Harrison Ford played Rusty in the movie. Scott went on to write other books. His first however remained silent. At least he thought it did. It loomed on a yellow sticky note until he realized it had more to say.

Maybe Scott just made up the story of the sticky note. The writer in me believes the note is real. That is how the Muses work. They let us think we are done. They wait and then they let us realize we have more to do. That is how the process works. When we let it. When we let the yellow stickies stick around and gnaw at us until we see.

Beltane 1

Fire purges and warms as Ostara eases to memory this cycle and Beltane begins. Time to sow. The celebration of Ostara was preparation for the sowing. Look around and smile how winter’s sleep is ended and the stretch awake complete. Move to motion as the old is purged in fire and the new is planted for the harvest to come.

Ostara was wonderful and will be again for the year is a cycle as it has been. A cycle of the cycle for the Circle. You have found your linkage and it time to move with those and plant. It is much more than seeds. It is plans. It is organization. It is allocation. It is place and purpose for each and every.

Beltane is as you are. It is of purpose. Ostara was the awakening of that purpose. It is time to realize the sleep of self has passed. It is time you saw yourself anew. Beltane is now and you are ready. Work hard in Beltane but work together. Others woke just as you did. Beltane is of motion. Of purpose. Of community and of kindred. Enjoy.

Plows Shared

Uniform planted with a fallen soldier from another war.

Sword turned to word then sharpened by daily share.

Battles lost without knowing made the enemy clear.

Armies of nobodies rising forth from under debris.

Spilling marks land mines drilled for all us to see.

Green camouflaged nothing as gold turned dust.

Soldiers became poets to say what they must.

Trumpeters blowing in sung about winds.

Flowers forgotten rise to make mend.

The Change kept right on coming.

Now it knocks on the door.

It will not be ignored.

No hiding, no more.

Take time to hear.

For all our sakes.

Please Hear.

Right here.

Hear.

One More Try

Here I am again.

Here I am starting over.

Square One.

Square One, one more time.

Just knew.

Justnew it was coming.

I Swore.

Swore this was all far behind me.

Here I am.

Here I am, one more time.

Hey, can you help me out, brother?

Hey, can me spare me the time?

Hey, can I stop spinning in circles?

Hey, can I survive it this time?

Thought.

Thought it was over.

Prayed.

Prayed. the worst was long gone.

Aimed.

Aimed to be do better.

Missed.

Missed the mark one more time.

Hey, can you help me, sister?

Hey, can you hold me tight?

Hey, can I stop spinning in circles?

Hey, can I just do what’s right?

Here.

Here I am spinning.

Back.

Right back where I was.

Thought.

Thought this was behind me.

Not.

Now, I’m back where I was.

Hey, can you help me out, Mother?

Why do you feel far away?

Please, can I come to you, Mother?

Please, make it safe here today.

I saw.

I saw it all coming.

It came.

It came anyway.

Help.

Is it really all over?

Shit.

Did I just piss it away?

Hey, can you help me out, brother?

Hey, can you spare me the time?

Am.

Am I just spinning in circles?

Is this?

Is this the last time?

Is this?

Is this my last time?

Please.

Please, be my last time.

Please.

Please, be my last try.

Just one.

Just one more last try.

Hitchhiker's Guide

“So long and thanks for all the fish”

Jeopardy like solutions.

Names hint of Seuss.

Bypassed to nothing.

Bureaucrats running loose.

“How many paths must we travel?”

Towels do clean and cover.

Path one or forty two.

Does it all really matter?

All the things that we do.

“Don’t Panic”

Thursday final notice.

Earth gone away.

Now really harmless.

This Milky White Way.

Greasy Burgers

Watched the oil slick head for the coast and realized I should have become a vegetarian sooner. Welcome to my trail of convoluted logic along the path of perpetual growth. BP slicks up the Gulf of Mexico and I am glad I don’t eat burgers any more. Follow along. Follow the bouncing ball, keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times, and don’t take any wooden nickels. I will connect the dots because it is something I do. Connecting the dots was what made me a vegetarian in the first place. Forget what the song says about sorry……..Hamburger is the hardest word. At least for this come to the party late, new wave embracing, spiritual whore, vegetarian.

I still like Hamburgers. There, I said it. Admitted it. Hamburgers still appeal. The smell of them. The memory of them. With Fries. Put a slice of Jersey tomato on it and get out of my way. Still lust a bit for them. Other meat is a take it or leave it lust. Hamburgers still call to me with a come hither, you know you remember, kinda appeal. Haven’t had one for a bunch of years but they were and are still loved. Just not enough to let oil wash up on the Gulf Coast.

Connected the dots, slower than I like to admit and with a stubborn streak that bordered on insanity, about what I eat and its effect on the environment, even the environment outside my bathroom, years ago. Want to say it was easy but that would not be the truth. Want to say I did it at exactly the right time but know now I should have done it sooner. But I did connect my own dots and changed my daily choices. Thanks to the guidance of some Wise Womyn, Their persistence and faith in me, and several important books, I finally accepted the consequences of my everyday impact on the world. Had to read “The Mad Cowboy”, “Fast Food Nation”, and many others before I really made the changes needed. I digested the “Inconvenient Truth” I had to accept. Had to understand how what I ate was mass produced, how much grain was consumed to produce those burgers, and what was used to keep up with the demands of me and all the others me’s out there. Slowly but surely, I faced the truth and changed. My hamburgers are not worth the rain forests.

That helped me connect other dots. The choice to be vegetarian begat other choices. A watershed moment as I backed away from the burgers, albeit reluctantly. Soon, other things….other daily choices……were peeled back. I guess what I eat did and does effect my judgment. Soon, there were other changes. Even bigger ones but somehow they seemed easier after the hamburger moved from my digestive tract of life. I saw other things clearer. Made changes that, in hindsight, stun me. Stun me on the level of change as well as how long it took me to get a clue.

So the oil slick heads to the coast. Fingers point, as usual. Clean up efforts kick into gear, as usual. The couldas, wouldas, and shouldas make their appearance, as usual. I think of my hamburgers and am glad I walk more than I ride now. Am glad public transportation is a part of my regiment. Like that my bike days are back. Will think of the birds and sea life that are a few gallons further from danger as I pedal. Maybe a few gallons isn’t that big a deal in the grand scheme of things but still feels good to me. Heck, a few less gallons here and a few less gallons there means a few less barrels and maybe a few less oil platforms and a few less spills and …you get the idea. Walking and riding a bike suddenly feels more right. Feels good as I do it. Better than a hamburger on the best of days.

Ate a lot of burgers in my days. Should have eaten a few less a bit sooner. Still, I am where I am and did what I did and do what I can do. Am glad my days produce more joy and consume less stuff. Hope we move to where the demand for oil puts off shore drilling in the “there’s no money in it” category. We drive them to drill. We can walk away from it when we choose. I chose. The spill just reminds me why. Meanwhile, I hope the clean up goes well and some more dots get connected.

Beltane (1 May-20 June)

The time of Dance. May Day! Beltane is the celebration of life. Christians call to Mary and crown her with blossoms as their Queen of May. Pagans ring the Maypole with laughter and love. Seeds are planted as the hope moves into nature’s womb for many births to come. This is Beltane.

The dance is joyous while the work demands. In the work, there is satisfaction with the true proof to be seen in later days by what seeds spout and where they bloom. This is the time of mating for purpose in nature. It is the time of continuation in joy for the light is full and the promise is real.

Beltane is also of fire as things are purged and purified. Just as the celebration of life to come is real, the purification of that life is forged in the passions of Beltane. This is continuation and transformation that honors all that was and prepares for even better to come.