Beltane

The time of Dance. May Day! Beltane is the celebration of life. Christians call to Mary and crown her with blossoms as their Queen of May. Pagans ring the Maypole with laughter and love. Seeds are planted as the hope moves into nature’s womb for many births to come. This is Beltane.

The dance is joyous while the work demands. In the work, there is satisfaction with the true proof to be seen in later days by what seeds spout and where they bloom. This is the time of mating for purpose in nature. It is the time of continuation in joy for the light is full and the promise is real.

Beltane is also of fire as things are purged and purified. Just as the celebration of life to come is real, the purification of that life is forged in the passions of Beltane. This is continuation and transformation that honors all that was and prepares for even better to come.

Ostara 24

There is joy in connection with kindred. These strings links are essential to reenergize and fuel the passion for action and life. Friendships are good and necessary since socialization is vital. Solitary is only good in small doses. Work relationships are tepid at best and all parties treat it as such…transitory interchanges with unchosen companions. Little more than travelers on the same conveyance even on the longest of trips. These are fine but Kindred are Kindred and barriers drop and communication moves to purity as trust soars.

Find this connection crossing many plains and things not just merge but balance beautifully. Compartments disappear and work is play, play is growth, growth is daily, and energy is everywhere. Grasp this chance. Grapple it to thy soul with hoops of steel.

Ostara 23

Balance requires telling distractions from opportunities. There will be mistakes. Good intentions bestowed well can still be taken and discarded. Love can have tolerance beyond what should be granted. Pleasant and intense forays into seemingly correct changes can delay. Pace can threaten balance as things shift and it takes trust to act versus remain.

Routine comforts and habits ease but close the door to opportunity. Routine is the beginning of rut. Yet change that is constant drains even the strongest and soon progress falls victim to collapse. Balance can be achieved. Listening is the key. Discard words of weakness and whining. Embrace words of concern that seek solution versus justifications.

Followers want clear directions but would delay until all is defined. Rulers use leaders who act on insight and trust rather than stubbornness or greed. Rule well. Choose your leaders wisely. Reassure followers but move faster than they want for they will celebrate at journey’s end along with all. If you rule, rule with love and Power but clearly rule. If not, follow those you trust. It will be less than smooth sometimes but, when balanced, will succeed.

Last Wednesday

How long ago was last Wednesday? When he headed to the shower for the day and died that morning. How long ago was that? The fog clears. Last Wednesday was real. Is he in the ground now? After 52 years as we? Did he die first? Is home waiting and will I be sleeping single until I have my last Wednesday? I don’t want to mad at you but, damn it, I am. No, I am not going to Alaska to be with Bob and Judy because they want me to go there and heal. No, I am not going to move back East and leave Yuma. Yuma is home now. At least, it was until you up and died on me. It was until Last Wednesday. I sat by a lake today and felt sorry for myself. Sorry for myself because you died. Sorry that I will smell you and hear you and sense you everywhere and know each time that you are gone. Sorry that it came so damn quick. Fifty-two years gone. Gone. Just like that. What was life like before you and I became something where we were more one than two? Why am I the one here and you the one there? I am glad it wasn’t me that went first. You don’t know where the hell your socks are. You don’t know which brand of tuna to buy or when to get the dog his shots. You would be lost without me. I am glad it was not me that went first. The kids are doing okay. Jim went back East. He says he is doing alright but he has a bit to go until he gets to alright. He loved you more than he said, more than he knew, and more than you ever thought. Mary is the strong one. She wants me to move in with her and to live there with them. I will stay a few weeks but I am not living with her or anybody else. I will live alone and get used to it. So I sat by a lake today and felt sorry for myself. Just sat there and tried hard not to cry but I cried. Sat there and pretended just to be looking at the water and the ducks and the day ahead. I guess I wasn’t too good at just pretending because a guy came over and asked if I was alright. A guy about the kids age. I told him about you and that you died Last Wednesday. I said I lost you. Lost you. Go figure. You left. I lost much more than you. I lost part of me. I lost my friend, my partner, my mate, my life. Lost a bunch Last Wednesday when you died early. So I told him about you and the kids and Yuma and a bunch of other things. It was nice to share. It was nice to talk. It was nice that he asked me if everything is alright. Then he left. He left, too. Just like you. Only he could come back and go again and I wouldn’t really care. I care about you. I miss you. I love you. Why did you have to go and die on me? Why did Last Wednesday come so soon?

(I went from a walk one morning about years ago. A woman sat on a bench overlooking a small lake. I waved as I walked by…she waved back. A social thing. Polite. Per-functionary. She sat. I continued around the lake. Felt her. It is an energy thing. Felt she was hurting. Something deep. Something very deep. As I continued around the lake, the feel of her drew me back. Drew me to approach the bench and ask if she was alright. She said yes but didn’t believe it anymore than I did. I stood there and waited. She finally told me that she lost her husband last Wednesday. I sat. She shared. I left. I wrote.

Just another walk. Just another talk. Just another last Wednesday.)

Ostara 22

Learn even from the mistakes. No one is flawless and each must err for it is human. Misjudge. Mistake. Omit. Commit. Moments of weakness. It all happens. Even to the strongest and the purest. Do not be overly hard on yourself but do learn and change. It is not mistakes that are the error. It is repeating the mistakes that is a grave misstep. Break the habit if the habit is wrong. Control the emotion if the emotion is destructive. Overcome the vice if in the grip of evil.

Humans are, after all, human. Help yourself and then help others who may struggle. The best defense for minimizing mistakes is balance. Balance of the earthly and the spiritual. Link the two in every day actions and mistakes are fewer. Each act links to earthly needs and spiritual purpose. As it should be.

Yesterday

Was it that long ago? There was a boy although he moved just like a man. Maybe more saw him as a boy than he knew but he was man. A big man. A big man making manly decisions. Life decisions. Big decisions. Decisions that were here and now yesterday. Some questioned the decisions. Others celebrated them. He made them. It was easier for him when they celebrated them but he made them for himself. At least he thought he did. After all, it was yesterday and today is different. Today he might make other decisions. A lot changes as yesterday becomes today and today becomes tomorrow and tomorrows become memories.

Yesterday was 1972. At least it feels like that. Just a kid. On his first plane ride. From the one state that he knew into places he only knew of…..and really didn’t know at all. Jumping into the unknown is exciting once we are confident we jumped into the right unknown. We buy in and then we do it. We jump. We jump from all we know into all we want and need and really don’t know. Sometimes it is a big jump. It was back in 1972.

That yesterday changed all my tomorrows. Yesterdays are like that. Today is a new day and I love my today. I honor and celebrate and remember my yesterdays. I love my today….and I kinda love my tomorrows…..but tomorrow is further away than yesterday and today is really all I have right now. All my yesterdays are right here….even that one way back in 1972. My tomorrow? Ask me about that tomorrow. When tomorrow is today and today is yesterday. Right now……well right now is really damn good. I didn’t see it coming yesterday……but it arrived right on time.

Ostara 21

Take time to appreciate the wonders many take for granted. Think of the many people and many things that happened to make your world as wonderful as it is. Mundane and forgotten things like mortar and brick. Who first succeeded in linking stone and mason to form walls of protection? Who first not only used fire but harnessed it for instant access for the dwellings then build with that same brick and mortar? When did they first learn to make food that was once seasonal available at any time and any whim?

There is so much around us. We look forward to things that will be and things we will have but should savor the abundance and wonder that is every day. What if there was no more? What we have would be enough and we would care for it all the more. That is peace and contentment.